Occasionally, I am unexpectedly and pleasantly surprised by something I see on television or hear on the radio. I’m not sure where or when I heard it, but I wrote it down and saved it. “Forgiveness is not deserved, but it sets you free.”
What a statement! It’s so hard to forgive someone who wronged you. Human nature often urges us to hurt someone the same way or perhaps more than he/she hurt you. You also may be inclined to hold a grudge. Neither is the right thing to do.
Indeed, forgiveness is not something we deserve. But not forgiving causes us to hold tight to bad feelings and perhaps relive the wrongdoing repeatedly.
Every time you revisit that wrongdoing in your mind, you give that person another chance to hurt you. The anger and hurt you feel will harm you and do nothing to the person who hurt you. The person who committed the act against you is probably going his/her merry way and has not given his/her actions a second thought. It’s possible he/she may not even be aware of the transgression. To top it all off, you are giving him/her power over you that you really don’t want him/her to have!
Forgiveness does two things. First, it sets the forgiver free from revisiting the wrong and the emotion tied to it. The forgiver is no longer a prisoner and can live in the present and move away from the past. In forgiving, the forgiver gives an undeserved gift and chooses to take the high road by not repaying evil for evil.
Secondly, forgiveness opens the door to repairing the relationship. If the person who transgressed against you is aware he/she has hurt you, it allows him/her to make the relationship right again. It is a necessary ingredient for rebuilding or repairing a harmed relationship.
Forgiveness is the hardest thing to bestow on someone whom you feel is undeserving. However, the healing that comes afterward is worth the effort. If you think the person who hurt you does not deserve it, you cannot move past it. It’s okay to feel angry and hurt, but forgive and move on. “Unforgiveness” brings bitterness, which is so hard to get rid of because it grows and develops deep roots that can cause even more pain. I know it’s easier said than done. For your own sake, give the gift of forgiveness and set yourself free.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32